Salty Storylines: Ragnaros X Preseason

Join some of the finest THL minds and also Rebobson as they breakdown the upcoming Ragnaros season!

It’s Fall. The leaves are changing colors, the air is starting to get chilly, and football is about to return to our lives. But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is a new season of THL is about to begin. Ragnaros Season 10, aka Ragnaros X if you’re a cool kid starts this week. Rosters were revealed, four divisions were rolled and RNGesus blessed us with gallons of storyline juice. The winner of the Blue/Purple divisions will meet the winner of the Gold/Red divisions in the Ragnaros Season 10 Championship for a chance at glory. We’ve gathered up a collection of some of the brightest minds that THL has to offer. This article includes their division roll reactions and predictions for the season, while also talking about the emerging and juicy storylines.


As always, we’d like to remind our readers of a few things before we begin:

1. This is not an official power ranking. This is meant to highlight some of the interesting storylines this season has to offer based on league history up to this point.

2. We don’t know everyone in the League, there’s lots of new folks out there, so we apologize in advance for the lack of mentions for some of you due to little or no information for us to work from.

3. The opinions in this article are based solely on those of the authors, and not the THL board. We may tend to be crude or a little dramatic at times, but know that it’s all in good fun.


4. The authors of this article are 3 of the 6 Infinity stones that hold our THL Universe together. Forever playing hide and seek from Thanos.


Here we go!

Blue Division Reactions:

• Collective Mayhem
  
• Glitter Baes
  
• Auto-Pecker 4000 (AP4K)
  
• DadLegend
  
• Maple Syrup, Inc.
  

JerryDamage: Blue may very well be the hardest division in Ragnaros this season. Whoever wins this division will come out with a few losses. But the division champion will be a contender come playoff time as they will have fought their way into the playoffs. AP4K is full of league veterans and has a good captain in Starlax. Looks solid 1-5. Collective Mayhem is another team that looks solid and has a very PR balanced roster. Which speaking of PR balanced rosters, DadLegend only has 127 PR difference between their 1 and 5 seeds. Maybe the best 3-5 in the league and if Yellowdart and WowdotBen can hold their own as the 1 and 2 seeds then DadLegend may be making another trip to the playoffs. Glitter Baes are really strong 1-3 and could be really good if they can have the same success with their 4 and 5 seeds. Maple Syrup Inc has some solid players and I can easily see them in the hunt for the playoffs at the end of the season. Some new faces in Blue division which could radically alter any predictions here but I really think Blue comes down to what teams can really make it all work 1-5.


Nade: Any good doctor will tell you that a balanced diet includes syrup, glitter, mayhem, dad bodies, and robot chickens - and I’m happy to see Blue has listened to their doctor. Some of the key ingredients I think will really stand out on the menu this season: carb connoisseur Cinder, juvenile junkfoodie JoshSampson, pickle licker BillSnyder, salty sweetheart HockeyBoyz3, and Swagoi SNACK stephieee. I imagine the Baes will make it rain sprinkles all over this division, and the Dads will cross the finish line in 2nd place right behind them (with their plate of steak and potatoes ready and waiting for them there of course).


rebobson: DadLegend have added the guy who Team Next Level attributed their Championship to in Altenberg, while still having Rizen at about 200 under PR. EZ GAME EZ LIFE. The Glitter Baes have a piece of coloured headwear whose PR would make him a 1 seed in over 50% of the league in the 3 seed, and stephieee will murder me if I don’t say something nice about them, so they’re probably gonna win. The Peckers and Collective Mayhem are essentially 2 teams of solid dependable players from top to bottom, with two great captains between them. The Hearthstone equivalent of that one meal you always want your mum to cook whenever you go visit. Maybe it involves Maple Syrup Inc., who could throw a sweet, sticky spanner into everyone’s works if they play their cards right.  

Predictions for Blue Division:


Division Winner: DadLegend (JerryDamage), Glitter Baes (Nade, rebobson)
MVP: BillSnyder (JerryDamage, Nade), bluesombrero (rebobson)
Comeback Player: RayC (JerryDamage), Pizza (Nade), Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers (rebobson)
Rookie of the Season: WilliamHung (JerryDamage), BillSnyder (Nade, rebobson)
Overseeded: MightyMatty (JerryDamage), Nated4444 (Nade), Chiggmo (rebobson)
Underseeded: JoshSampson (JerryDamage, Nade), Cinder (rebobson)

Purple Division Reactions:

• :Hot_Pepper:
  
• The Pod People
  
• Saronite Pain Gang
  
• Really Nice Guys
  
• Team Next Level
  

JerryDamage: So out of all the teams in Blurple, I don’t see any going undefeated. And if anyone does then that will be the team to beat come playoffs. It’s another stacked conference. I think I’d still give the edge to Blue for being the hardest top to bottom, but Purple is right there with it. :Hot_Pepper: has some solid players but a few new faces on it. ironFIRE is, well, on fire as of late and if he can coach up his players to even half of that level then this will be a spicy team to watch. Really Nice Guys have a roster that doesn’t look amazing, but never count out team chemistry and could be a contender if they click with each other. Saronite Pain Gang won their division last year. They could be a playoff team again and could make a run if they don’t play HOTS during Week 9 again. (Ed. note: It was League of Legends) Team Next Level won the title when no one picked them to get out of the first round and so far they aren’t getting much respect this season either. I’d say that’s a mistake as they bring back the core of the championship squad and add the nicest guy in THL, Saku. I wouldn’t be surprised to see them back in the playoffs trying to repeat. The Pod People are back. They make some great podcasts.


Nade: Whoa. Purple is scary. We’re looking at a four-eyed, four-horned, flying Pod People eating division featuring some serious THL monster squads ready to snack on some juicy Pod points. RNG has lost some of its guys and may likely finish last in Purple, otherwise you can expect to see two of these teams at the monster mash during playoff week for sure (just don’t forget to submit classes on Halloween!). My prediction: this will be a Painful playoffs.


rebobson: I’m gonna buck trend here and say that Purple is like the socially awkward, less attractive sibling to Blue who doesn’t get invited to as many parties and pissed themself the one time they drank 3 beers. Purple has a whole host of solid teams, but no-one that makes me spit-take my coffee and go ‘WOW!’ like Blue does. Team Next Level are solid from top to bottom as teams go, but I just don’t see a repeat of last season without that fucking spreadsheet demon. :Hot_Pepper: may boast a fantastic 1-2-punch in ironFIRE and kd1215, but the rest of the team need to pull no punches if they want to make it through. That said, I believe aforementioned duo should be enough to get the spiciest bois through from this division. Saronite Pain Gang showed last season that they are more concerned with trash talking in Discord than they are looking up what week the season ends, and I don’t see anything in this roster that makes me think they aren’t compensating for something. Really Nice Guys are gonna need Catman1950’s best Atlas impression if they want to make it through; let’s see if Nice Guys really do finish last. The Pod People return once again with their classic quintet, a good 80 PR lower than at this time last season. It’s going to be like hitting a dead horse from point blank range with a fucking rocket launcher. I’m calling a 3 from Blue, 1 from Purple situation right now, don’t @ me.

Predictions for Purple Division:


Division Winner: Team Next Level (JerryDamage), Saronite Pain Gang (Nade), :Hot_Pepper: (rebobson)
MVP: Saku (JerryDamage), tri (Nade), ironFIRE (rebobson)
Comeback Player: ClarkKent (JerryDamage), RidiculousHat (rebobson)
Rookie of the Season: Catman1950 (JerryDamage, Nade), Blakmajik (rebobson)
Overseeded: MonkeyWarlord (JerryDamage), Gio65656pl (Nade), RidiculousHat (rebobson)
Underseeded: tri (JerryDamage), Kols (Nade), Jammies (rebobson)

Red Division Reactions:

• Defias Brotherhood
  
• Always Topdeck Lethal
  
• Team Mox
  
• HSA
  
• The Cabal
  

JerryDamage: I normally hate the color red. But for the next 12 weeks I love it. Last season I think a lot of people wrote off Always Topdeck Lethal. Then they made a late season surge and had a shot at making it to the finals. They really know how to play Hearthstone in Atlanta so they are always a team to watch out for. Defias Brotherhood has one of the best 5 seeds in the league in Aeo and when c0mp has a good team they are a force to be reckoned with. A few question marks in their new players but if they perform then I can see Defias being a surprise playoff team for some people. I’m personally excited to see HearthStone Academy back. Season 5 my team had a good rivalry with them and I expect that we may see that again this season. MMI is back from band camp and playing some great Hearthstone. If TwoStarMako and Skritch study at the Hearthstone Academy from Coach MeMyselfandI then this team can really make a good run. Team Mox has a great 1 and 2 seed combo in Bonja and Bloodhunter. Bonja was an all-star last season and Bloodhunter has been tearing it up in MCL for 2 seasons now. If ForceofWill, Appa, and JSquared perform to that same level then they’ll make the playoffs. And save the best for last. The Cabal has a strong roster on paper. Three All-Stars from last season and former MVP Slimsch along with newcomer iCon. The Cabal has a challenge ahead of them, but if they put in the work then they could see a good playoff run at the end of the season.


Nade: The league is SUPER hyped on Red. As they should be: lots of big names (players and teams alike). Personally, I’m not riding this hype train, as I honestly think this season has the most balanced divisions we’ve seen in a long time (if not ever). I think HSA takes this division, and I don’t think they’ll really struggle to get there. As for the wild card battle, I think it’s anyone’s game, and I look forward to watching this fight unfold.


rebobson: ATL always have the same roster, all the time, and always do pretty well. I wouldn’t be surprised for them to do so, once again. The Cabal have a truly spicy roster, as well as Brewski behind the scenes pulling the strings; they are this division's spiciest proposition, and I look forward to surrendering my will to those sexy beasts. Team Mox look to once again completely underperform despite an impressive-looking roster; I’d say they look promising, but I’ve been hurt too many times now. THL’s equivalent of biting into a delicious pastry, only to find it’s full of fucking red bean paste. Hearthstone Academy is back in session, with MeMyselfandI ready to show he’s well rested and to put some motherfuckers in detention. Defias Brotherhood look like a fish out of water in this division, even with all-star Aeo in their ranks. c0mp is gonna have to work some real magic if he wants to escape this division with the brotherhood intact.

Division Winner: The Cabal (JerryDamage, rebobson), HSA (Nade)
MVP: Jaxox (JerryDamage), TheTownDrunk (Nade), MeMyselfandI (rebobson
Comeback Player: Slimsch (JerryDamage, rebobson), Appa (Nade)
Rookie of the Season: iCon (JerryDamage, Nade, rebobson)
Overseeded: SuperSam (JerryDamage)
Underseeded: TheTownDrunk (JerryDamage, rebobson)

Gold Division Reactions:

• AskHS
  
• Da Stubbs
  
• Noob Central
  
• Xnergy
  
• Dirty Mike & the Boys
  

JerryDamage: So Gold is widely considered to be the worst division in Ragnaros. While we don’t see powerhouse teams we do see what should be a pretty competitive division. AskHS has some talent on their roster at the 1-3 but can they coach up the 4 and 5 seeds to be killers alongside them? Da Stubbs have moved from Texas. They’ve got solid players at all 5 seeds so it’s just a matter if they can become a team and put it all together. Dirty Mike and the Boys are back. Another case of a team full of solid players, but can they put it all together? The Noobs are back for another season. Normally we make fun of Nade for going 0-9 but this time it’s a lot of new faces and time will tell how they perform in THL. Last up we’ve got Xnergy. If there was ever a year for X to give it to us, this is it as this is a division that’s really open to whatever team can step up and take it.




Nade: Every season Nade says, “Watch out for the Noobs, we’re better than ever…”, and then disappoints harder than a Jungle Book remake. When will he learn? I don't fucking know. Anyway, watch out for the Noobs - we’re better than ever.


Rebobson: Gold is truly the Purple to Red’s Blue. Dirty Mike and the Boys have made a killer signing in Aviously fresh from a season’s Skrimping, with much of the old guard still intact. There’s some promise here indeed. Da Stubbs have finally given up on having the official name and have cut out the middle man, but may have cut a little too much oomph out of their roster alongside it. I’m not sure even Shunsui21 can save them now. AskHS are the token blank slate I am going to talk complete bullshit about because I know next to nothing about any of them. Did you know, for example, that the fingerprints of koalas are nearly indistinguishable from humans, and have been known to actually compromise crime scenes due to their similarity? The Noob Central gang could have the most promising roster in the fucking world, and it still wouldn’t save them from the not insignificant fact that Nade is their captain. Finally… Xnergy. Let me guess: slow start, late surge towards the playoffs? Talk about deja vu. Nate in the 1 seed looks like a fantastic addition in the quest for X to give it to ya. DMB and X look a cut above the rest, and it will be interesting to see whether 1 or 2 make it out of this snakepit alive.

Predictions for Gold Division:


Division Winner: AskHS (JerryDamage), Dirty Mike & The Boys (rebobson), NOOBS (Nade)
MVP: KanyeBest (JerryDamage), Aviously (rebobson), Corbett (Nade)
Comeback Player: TonyMontana (JerryDamage), Aviously (rebobson), Kuthroat (Nade)
Rookie of the Season: Niraj (JerryDamage), ShadowRanger (rebobson), Myth (Nade)

Overseeded: Nade (JerryDamage, rebobson, Nade)
Underseeded: Aviously (rebobson), Lefty2111 (Nade)

And now comes the hard part where we have to combine some conflicting thoughts and predict the playoff race. Here's our final stance:
Blue / Purple


1. Collective Mayhem
2. :hot_pepper:
3. The Glitter Baes
4. DadLegend


Red / Gold


1. HearthStone Academy
2. The Cabal
3. Dirty Mike and the Boys
4. AlwaysTopdeckLethal


Grand Finals:


Collective Mayhem beating HearthStone Academy


If you don't agree with any of our predictions, click here!
- JerryDamage, Nade, Rebobson