Roll up, roll up, one and all, to the greatest show on Earth. Or, you know, just another Hero Series preseason article. It’s rebobson and basedinc here, to bring you another article rife with baseless speculation, to tickle your tastebuds as things start rolling throughout this week. Last season, we were spectacularly wrong, both determining eventual champs Tan Pam’s Surf Slam would finish the regular season right down the foot of the table, so there is a decent chance we will be wrong with everything we say here. basedinc will be running you through my own conference of Purple, while I will be giving you the lowdown on her own Teal conference. Remember, if we say nice things about you, we’re smart, attractive geniuses, but if we are mean about your team, we’re complete fools and don’t know what we’re talking about. Let’s get this show on the road:
advanced tactical Lackeys
A mainstay of Hero, Advanced Tactical Lackeys is back. I know you’re shocked. However, this is quite a different roster from last season with captain BlueSpartan and 3 seed FreeHongKong as the only returning members. ATL just missed the playoffs last season after going an astounding 7-4. As it turned out, handing ATL a loss was a secret requirement of making the playoffs, but that’s old news. This new iteration of ATL has brought in some heavy hitting new members. Rizen is a name new to me but not THL and his #free-agents post received glowing reviews. BrushyTuna, a content master and previous Pro MVP, is certainly equipped to make waves in the 4. Speaking of making waves in the 4, Mattyebs has joined the roster after a respectable season in the 4 for BOOZ Cruise and, with a step down in seeds, is poised to have an even better season this time around. The core duo of BlueSpartan and FreeHongKong have surrounded themselves with some powerful teammates again this season. The only question is: will it be enough in this absolutely stacked conference?
Booty Bay Yacht Club
The BOOZ boat is back and looking for a ‘ship this time around. Booty Bay Yacht Club was runner-up in their last appearance with a nearly identical roster. LotusKnight is taking on the task of replacing recent Legacy Hall of Famer MemyselfandI. That’s a big role to fill, but LotusKnight is that big player to do it. Speaking of Hall of Fame, two members of this team are also in the Legacy Hall of Fame in bluesombrero and Skritch, but this isn’t Legacy so maybe the rest of the conference still has a shot. The last two of the roster I haven’t properly introduced but I don’t need to. I’ll do the formality. TwoStarMako is a member of the board and criminal in the 4 seed, and BOOZASAURUS is the captain and another underseeded player for this team. I may be blinded because, full disclosure, this is a team of players I interact with fairly regularly (Go HSA!), but I don’t think so. I think this team has the chemistry to keep motivation throughout the season and the raw talent to take on any team.
Aviously has assembled an all-star team of Tespa players and rounded the team out with his brother Robocats. These are mostly unfamiliar names to THL but these are some of the strongest players Tespa has to offer. If you think Aviously passed up on playing on the team to not buy some of the highest value players possible you’re in for a nasty surprise. This team is flying under the radar because Inzi is the only known quantity on the team and he’s in the 3. That’s a lowkey massive threat in the 3 seed even with the folks smurfin’ in the 3 this season. This team is being slept on and people are about to have a rude awakening.
You know what’s scarier than a DadLegend? A DadLegend that is looking for revenge. Continuing their storied tradition of going through 5 seeds like Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers, Clarity is the only new player to join this season. This team just finds a way to win, and by win, I mean dominate with sweeps on the regular. Fantastic players in every seed is what makes that dream possible. I don’t know if we’ll ever see the dominance of 2 seasons ago, but I think it’s very possible we see that same power in a stronger field propel them to success again. If you beat DadLegend last season, expect a huge target on you; rumor on the street is they offer rewards internally for how beat up you and your team are by the end of the week. Will this be the season Starlax gets Player of the Week? Stay tuned and catch his sweet dance moves to find out.
F2L returns to the Hero series with a nearly identical roster to last season, though they’ve added Markshire to the roster this season to replace LiquidOx. Losing LiquidOx would hurt any team, but picking up Markshire definitely softens that blow (hope they don’t lose him too, any team would hate to lose Markshire). This team had some struggles last season so let’s just dig into that for a bit. Itachi and Rebobson had a rough go of it; two of the most consistent and powerful players in THL had a down season. Doubtful that we’ll be so lucky again. The rest of that team? Produced 2 All-Stars and were intensely competitive all season. Just like DadLegend this team will be on that revenge high, beware those who have crossed them. I think this team will be living up to its name this season. Don’t expect too many Ls.
Insert Good Name
The team formed at the last second. A couple new names and some former members of Mrgl Mrgl (and urmumked!) came together to make this team long after captains were announced. I have concerns with the low PR and wonder what kind of cohesion this team will have being put together so late. The returning members of Mrgl Mrgl and social boi Kingofpxl are likely to get this team active and talking; this team has the pieces to succeed, but the competition in this conference is brutal and they’re going to have to step up and quickly. I cannot wait to see what this team ends up doing. If they take down the whole thing, there may never be a better storyline in THL. Sneaking in under the wire and stealing the whole damn thing.
Happy anniversary NoProsHere! This crew has been playing together for a full year now. NPH is a staple of the series and always highly competitive. This is the evidence that capping PR is not necessary. The teamwork of this team is undeniable and every seed is competitive. Electabuzz is always one of the best 5 seeds and a constant anchor for them. The only question for this team this season is how will they fair in another stacked conference. I’m convinced they’ll show us again that they can’t be stopped and will be in playoff contention no matter the competition they face.
Wild Aces has received hype unanimously and for good reason. One of the emerging strategies in team building is to find a super cheap 1 seed and put them in the 3. Wild Aces said no thanks. Let’s put them in the 4 (kind of like DadLegend). The 1-4 of this roster is absolutely stacked and through some recent downswings and breaks have afforded to make this just absurd team with PR to spare. This crew is formed of friends and absolutely fantastic card slingers. Expect 2-3 wins every week out of the top end of this team and a W on the week every time LordZeoLite picks up a win. I am of course counting on the information provided on their logo claiming “this are serious team” which I only assume they’ve included to let you know they’re serious contenders for the crown. Could also be that Cmac is the sole deck designer and that fatigue decks only. Let the Elysiana Brewmaster lull you to sleep...
Starting things off in the Teal Conference, we have AskHS, who have gone for the newly popular ‘get to as close to 1850 PR’ as possible composition strategy. This team looks solid, if uninspiring; DoctorBOMD I expect to be the standout performer in the 3 seed, while I also imagine Zancat and Shoebacca will put in good performances in the 2 and 5. I cannot see this team doing awfully, but I also don’t see the standout performance it will take to propel a team out of this conference.
Conversely, The Burninators appear to have decided that PR is for losers. With a whopping 321 PR still available to captain SilverTFoxDemon, I have to question whether there might have been some better recruitment options available; there is more PR available to this team than 3 of their players currently have. With Charip and Swashmrglr both under the average PR for their seed, RescueWabbit and Tweeg are going to really need to hit the ground running and pick up a lot of points for this side, if they don’t want to rapidly plummet to the bottom of Teal.
I look at the roster for The Cult this season, and I genuinely wonder how the PR is that low. A top 3 of Heatshock, Plantz, and The_bigted is absolutely killer (and it makes me very happy to have Plantz back around again!), and up there with any top 3 throughout Hero this season. I am unfamiliar with RoadRunner myself, but if they and captain qUAZ can pick up a solid number of wins, this team is a definite contender. Plus, it's almost mathematically impossible this exact roster couldn’t stick around for another season or two.
DDABB on ‘em
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, it has happened. Diamond is playing on a team and not captaining it. The world may end soon. The obvious strengths of this team come from the duo of Dabs and basedinc in the top 2 positions, though Buse in the 4 is no slouch either. Basedinc has elected to keep this a family affair, with brother Astralfrog likely to get some good advice from big sis along the way, hopefully allowing him to hit the ground running. If the higher seeds can get Diamond performing, this team should comfortably make playoffs.
My Chemical Scholomance
Wow, what a logo. I bet whoever made that is SUPER attractive. ⅗ of last season’s Licensed to Illidan have taken on The Burninators’ Meduzas in the 3 and new THL wunderkind Adamos to lead the pack in the 1 seed, replacing the hugely disappointing TrippyToad from last time around. The strengths of this team are likely to be Adamos, Meduzas and Anfal in the 4, though if Donde can repeat his 7-4 season from last time around, My Chemical Scholomance will be set to do well this time around. Definite contenders for playoffs, though probably not conference winners.
Tan Pam’s Surf Slam
You can’t really argue with 80% of a reigning championship team. After the both of us heavily ruled out Tan Pam’s Surf Slam in last season’s preseason article, there’s no way I’m making that mistake again. Seeds 1, 2, 3 and 5 return once again, with the sole change to the team being WashInTheWind taking on Ozmanaut’s mantle in the 4 seed. With every seed being arguably above average for their position, Tan Pam’s will definitely be looking to go for the repeat.
Team Most Improved
With what seems like the spiritual successor to Annoy-o-Team, who will not be joining us in Hero this season, a lot of the same questions that plagued Annoy-o still remain. RHat was the star player last season, and he will be looking for Jimphilos and Dusharmo to regain their winning ways, after going 4-7 and 2-7 respectively last time around. Adding RonMexico and TravisChrono in the 3 and 4 rounds things off nicely, however I have my same reservations about whether the top end of the team will be giving the bottom end the support they need. If they don’t, Team Most Improved might need to do plenty of improving come end of season.
The Transfer Students
Every preseason article, I am presented with one team that I know absolutely nothing about, who I must dub the ‘surprise package’. This season, the Transfer Students, aptly named because I look at the majority of them and wonder if I’ve ever seen them before, fill that role; returning veteran THLeumer takes up the captain’s mantle alongside a safe pair of hands in the 5 seed in GKick. Elsewhere, 3 Hero Series newbies take up 1, 2 and 3 seeds. Decently high PR for Sparkalaphobia and Boc4life suggests there is potential with the 2 of them, however unless this unit gels quickly they are likely destined for the middle of the pack.
Now, as is mandatory, it’s time for the two of us to round things off with some blasé predictions on how the season will look come the close of the regular season, for people to screenshot and bring up later as they point and laugh, like the street youth of my childhood. Let’s go:
Don't forget to @ us and tell us we're wrong. Laters, potaters.
-basedinc & rebobson
The THL blog is curated and edited by Donde. All THL members are welcomed and encouraged to pitch ideas for articles they would like to see on the site. If you have an idea, please reach out to us on Discord at Donde#4239 or via the THL Help email address: firstname.lastname@example.org